I am a Grumpy Guy today. I hate Mondays, even when they fall on Tuesdays. I hate the fact that I am now a person that hates Mondays. You know? I used to hate those people. People that talk about it being Monday. I still hate them. I have a lot of hate to give.

I hate that song that goes, I don't like Mondays. Tell me why!

Aside from maybe seven days of humidity, this spring/summer has been quite Autumnal. Maybe it's because my office has been a consistent 62 degrees for the last 2 years. I don't know. I feel like it's September. Which means my birthday is just around the corner. Awesome. Hopefully it'll be like my last birthday where I got drunk and stole a giant inflatable Heineken football from a bar with the help of my pal Greg. We then ran out of this bar with the football for a few blocks, then I realized I had no use for a football this size, especially an inflatable one. So I gave it to a four-year-old kid who was getting into a car with his parents. He was excited to get this football, which was bigger than he. His parents were not as excited.

Parents of four-year-olds receiving alcoholic paraphernalia from drunk people on the streets of New York are so uptight these days.