Here is some random crap I will type.

Today is Thursday, July 1. This has been an incredibly long week for some reason. Both yesterday and today, I have woken up and gone to grab my jeans thinking, "Sweet! Casual Friday is here!" And then I realize I'm wrong. I cry in the tub for about 8 minutes and then I get ready.

I need a haircut.

One time there was this baby on the train. He was black. He was smiling and making faces at a black man on the train. That guy got off the train, so now the baby was looking at me. He stopped smiling and was making mean faces at me. And I think at one point he even gave me the finger. This baby was barely a year old, but I am pretty sure was a racist. No one likes a racist baby, I thought. Except for racists, I suppose. Anyway, it gave me an idea for a TV show called Racist Baby. I'm not sure if this will be a comedy or a drama. Perhaps a dramedy.

Last night I had a dream that it was the end of the world. Everyone was pretty calm and tying up loose ends. I don't remember the specific ending, but it began by the oceans drying out. I also remember thinking that it wasn't an interesting date for the world to end. You know, like January 1st is a good day to die. But this was just in the middle of some random month. And people were packing. Don't know why. We couldn't go anywhere. This dream was inspired by the 6:30 episode of The Simpsons yesterday. The one with the comet.


Someone got to my site by searching, "how many superballs have the 49ers won". I know they've won 5 Super Bowls, but as far as super balls, I don't know. The give you a trophy and a ring when you win the Super Bowl, but not a super ball. Maybe if things got bad for the league financially, they'd do that.

Speaking of sports, the Bush administration kind of reminds me of the Yankees. I had a good way to describe this the other day, but now I can't. I hate when that happens. When you have a good idea but then can't remember what made it a good idea. One time in college I was kind of high and I thought of something that would be a good children's story. I wrote a few things down before I went to bed, then woke up the next day and was like, "What? Why did I write down 'stork and donkey'?"

I am going to the Yankee game tonight. I will be sitting near the right field fair pole. I might get drunk and try to attack Gary Sheffield. Watch SportsCenter.

I used to think people that called it the "fair pole" were being snooty. But it's true. Why is it a foul pole? If the ball hits it, it's fair.

If you'd like a lesson in how comedic timing is essential, watch Arrested Development on Sunday nights. This is quite possibly the funniest show on television right now. And so far, Fox has not renewed it. They'd better. Jerks.

I really need a haircut.