In case you walk by me and smell something weird, I just thought I'd let you know that smell is Hollywood!

Over the last two months, I've seen Nicolas Cage, Willie Hung, Madonna, and then yesterday, I am sitting on the L train going to 6th Avenue when I see this pretty little thing walk on the train.

Wow. She looks a lot like Amelie, I thought to myself. So I kept looking at her, then her friend said something to her and she smiled and I thought, That is Amelie. Ain't no mistaking that smile.

Audrey Tautou. She sat next to this jerk next to me. So I was one person away from her. Damn, she is pretty. Of course, I was all stalker-like and tried to get a photo of her with my phone, but I fucked up and didn't save it. If you take a photo, you need to save it right away, or else it's gone forever. My photo of Amelie is gone forever. But the memory remains!

I wanted to say something but she was with a friend and they were talking. I thought about going up to her and saying "Hi Esther" just to see what kind of reaction I would get. Any time I see a celebrity from now on, I think I'll just say "Hi Esther" and take a picture with my phone.

So this lady is one of the biggest actresses in France. She's like their Meg Ryan, only with talent. Yet here she is riding the L train. That's crazy. Madonna goes through town with a police escort in a gas guzzling SUV, but French Meg Ryan is content to slum it with the likes of me.

I believe that's what you would call, Keepin' it real. Or as the French would say, Keepin' it le real.

I'm not so good with French.

A friend of mine named Josh used to talk about how much he hated Meg Ryan, and that she would act like Sally from When Harry Met Sally in every movie. He would call every movie she was in a different title. Here are some examples:

When a Man Loves A Woman -- Sally Drinks Too Much
Sleepless In Seattle -- Tom Hanks Likes Sally
Courage Under Fire -- Sally Goes to War
You've Got Mail -- Sally Gets Email

That was funny stuff, Josh. Email me more often, jerk.