Did you ever notice how it's always black people that get arrested?

I would like to apologize for the statement I just made. It was uncalled for and inconsiderate. I apologize to anyone who may have been offended.

Well, thank gosh I apologized. It seems that's really all you have to do these days. The reason I bring this up is because of the Bill Parcells comment where he said two of his coaches use "Jap plays" (meaning surprise plays... a Pearl Harbor reference).

It's a stupid thing to say in a room full of reporters, especially when you preface it with "No disrespect to anyone," which he did. If you start a sentence with something like "No disrespect to anyone" or "I don't mean to be rude, but..." chances are you are going to be disrespectful and/or rude. I used to work with a guy who was from the south and that was his way of being politely rude. "Now, Mike, Ah don't mean to be rude or nuthin', but Ah think you're a douchebag and your birth was a mistake." He was never really that harsh, but you get the idea.

Anyway, what was my point? Oh, the thing I hate most about these apologies is the phrase, "I apologize to anyone who may have been offended." You KNOW people were offended. You did not "may" offend anyone. You DID! It sounds so insincere. It's kind of flippant as if to say, "If you were sensitive enough to be offended by my actions, then I'm sorry. But to the rest of you, my statement still stands."

I would think a more effective way to say it is, "I apologize to everyone who was offended." The other way makes it sound like you still don't believe that people were really offended.

Anyway, it's all bullshit. Bill Parcells is an older man and he's part of a generation. They still say things like that. Most are smart enough to not say it in front of reporters, or don't have the opportunity to do so, but I think his apology would have been more sincere if he just said, "Look, that's what we call trick plays. I guess it is offensive, but it isn't really meant to be. And when it's said among a bunch of non-Japanese coaches and players, it really never appeared to be that bad, but now I realize it is offensive. And for that, I'm sorry."

There. Case closed. I should be a professional apology writer.

Anyway, I was offended by his remarks, but only because I am very good friends with Asian people. In fact, here is a photo of me with one of my best Asian friends.