|Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before|
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
I was lying in my bed on a Saturday morning around 8:30. It was a beautiful day out and there was a wonderful spring breeze blowing up my butt. All of the sudden, I heard this woman singing outside. She wasn't serenading me, but the singing was coming from the church that is two doors down from me.
There is often a lot of singing in the church. They practice on Tuesday nights at 8:00, but it's usually a bit more raucous. And on Sunday there is a mass that sometimes gets pretty loud. It's an Hispanic church and they've got a lot of love to give Christ.
Anyway, on this particular Saturday, where I am usually awoken by jackhammers and construction workers dropping things, it was great to be pleasantly nudged awake by this angelic voice. So I just lay there for a while, listening to her sing, in a language I didn't know, but I know the language of love and I could tell she loves her God.
Then she stopped singing. All of the sudden there was this jumpy piano that started to play, and then a guy with a raspy voice started singing. Well, not singing, really. More of a yell. A howl. The sound of a truck crashing. It was a horrid sounding voice in every way. Off-key, loud, and despite its low pitch, it was still piercing.
Then came the chorus of the song. He just started yelling, "Jeee-zuuuussss! Jeee-zuuuussss!" Except it was in Spanish, so he was yelling, "Hey-zooooooos! Hey-zooooooos!" Over and over again. If I was Jesus, I'd have been pissed. It sounded like he was mad at Jesus. It went from this calm, relaxing, gorgeous voice to a guy who sounded like gravel.
Anyway, if I hear that guy again, I'm calling Mayor Bloomberg. If he hears that guy, though, he might be inclined to shut down all churches in the city, because no good could have possibly come from that song.