Well, another Fleet Week has come and gone. In case you are not familiar with Fleet Week, every Memorial Day weekend, hundreds of sailors come to the city in hopes of hooking up with chubby white girls who can't control themselves.

If all of the sailors were actually women, this would be called Slut Week.

So enjoy your herpes, ladies. Who knows from what corner of the globe they came from.

I learned this weekend that the sailors have to be back at their ships by 6 AM. I think next Fleet Week I am going to go to where the ships dock at around 5:30 on Saturday morning to watch what must a great parade: The Fleet Week Walk of Shame Parade. Tons of sailors stumbling back to their bunks with shit eating grins. I will stand there and salute, all the while shouting -- USA! USA! USA!