Good day. I have been Missing. I was in jail for a couple of days. No, just kidding. I was on the run from the cops because I killed a nun. No, that's a lie. I'm working on a secret mission to assassinate William Hung. Also a lie. Seriously, my zipper was stuck. A lie, but I wanted to put a Summer School reference somewhere on this blog. For some reason, I know that movie too well.

The truth to my absence is that I was on vacation in San Francisco for a few days. It was for a surprise party which is why I didn't mention it on the blog. Turns out the guy we were surprising hasn't even been reading. What an asshole!

Anyway, I'm incredibly tired. Here is a haiku about my trip back:

Jammed on the Red-Eye.
Center seat, baby crying.
Someone please kill me.