Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Aaahhh, spring time in Central Park. Children laughing, the sun shining, people playing softball, the distant sound of someone yelling, "You a pussy, nigga."

I actually heard that the other day, along with the birds and everything else. But it really was a distant sound, so it was almost kind of pleasant. It wasn't directed at me, so that was nice. It was apparently directed at a friend of this kid, who I guess was some sort of nigga that was kind of a pussy.

Kids these days. On Friday, my softball team was waiting for a Little League (or maybe high school) game to end before we could play our game. One team put together a hell of a rally in the last inning. Before this, though, they were playing like shit. Striking out a lot. I'm guessing they were all about 14-years-old.

Now, when I was a kid playing Little League, if you threw your helmet or bat after being called out, you'd be tossed from the game by the umpire or your coach would bench you.

Apparently, there is a new rule that says you must throw your helmet, your bat, and don't forget to curse. I was shocked by these kids. They were the rudest, most obnoxious bunch of pieces of shit I've ever seen. But no one said anything. Not even the ump. He must be used to it.

Anyway, I think the team was about to tie the game, but they had a guy get thrown out at home on a very close play, which was the third out. I don't know if he was safe or not, but their entire bench charged the umpire, surrounded him, pointing in his face, berating him, yelling that it was a bad call.


I feared for this guy's life. And I thought, Where in the hell is the coach of this team to control these shitbags? I couldn't find him. As we were moving stuff onto the bench and they were leaving, I saw him. He was cleaning the bench and packing all of the stuff. He was doing everything. And he was this little doughy mid 20-year-old white guy (most of the players were Hispanic). He looked like Chip from Kate & Allie. Remember how lame that kid was? I think this was actually him. He looked so scared. These kids probably abuse him and give him no respect whatsoever.

I blame it on Manny Ramirez.

To quote the "snooty" maitre'd in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "I weep for the future."
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