You know how everyone has a story about staring at Tom Brokaw's crotch? Here's mine.

Last summer, or perhaps the one before that, I was leaving my office building at quittin' time. I made a right and headed towards my subway. You know how people have always said to not make eye contact with people in New York? I don't follow that rule. I often look directly at people. Can't help it. I like looking at faces, and occasionally, the crotch of a well-known newscaster.

This day, though, I wasn't really looking at people. I just kind of had my eyes forward, looking down a bit. I noticed someone on the left of the sidewalk walking towards me amongst the gaggle of people and saw this slovenly applied suit. The jacket of the suit had a few buttons, but only one was buttoned. The tie was crooked and extended beneath the jacket. The entire suit appeared to be crumpled. It was just a mess. It looked like it would be the wardrobe for a hobo in a hobo movie.

So, with my eyes currently fixated on the bottom of the tie, which was just above the crotch, I looked up, expecting to see a grey bearded old hobo, perhaps with a fishing cap on, and a couple of teeth missing. Instead I saw Tom fucking Brokaw. And he was looking right at me. I made eye contact with Tom Brokaw, and thought, "Shit. That's Tom Brokaw. He's a fucking slob."

It took me a couple of seconds to actually realize it was Tom. You know when you see a celebrity on the street, it's can be kind of a jolt. At first, you're like, Oh hey there's some guy I know from somewhere. Should I say hi?

Then you realize it's a celebrity that does not know you. So, in most cases, you don't say hi. I once walked by Bebe Neuwirth and actually gave her a nod, thinking we maybe met at a party once. But no, I only watched her on Cheers. But she was nice and smiled and I felt like a fool.

Anyway, with Tom Brokaw, we just stared at each other until we were by each other. Then I realized that the reason he was probably staring at me was because it had appeared to him that I was taking a good hard look at his famous newscaster crotch.

This is the part of the story where I do an impression of Mr. Brokaw telling people back at the office about this guy staring at his crotch. But it probably won't translate well on the blog.

In other celebrity news, I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with Sinead O'Connor and I found out she was 82 years old. She looks good for an old lady. Bald, but other than that, quite healthy.