Well, the weekend is here and all the kids are going out. I'm staying in due to me not feeling so well. So I will take this opportunity to offer you some advice when you are trying to pick up the ladies. Here are some lines you should never use:

-- You kind of remind me of one of our Founding Fathers.


That's it. That's all I got. Just don't say that and you should get laid tonight. If you don't get laid, you can't blame me. You should blame your horrid acne and your acidic personality. And what's with that shirt? You couldn't get laid at a Mother/ Daughter Prostitute Picnic. You make me sick.