This morning, on my way to work in the rain, I saw this homeless man. He looked so sad and didn't ask me for money. He just stared at me as the rain soaked all of the clothes he owned. I couldn't tell if he wanted to ask me for money or not, but he looked ashamed. He seemed to be humiliated about his life and how it had turned out. And he just kept looking at me as I walked by, seeming to try to get me to help him without speaking, just through his eyes. He wanted my help. So I killed him.

April fools! I didn't kill a homeless man today. I didn't even see one. And if I did, no way I would keep looking at him. I hate the homeless.