Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, April 23, 2004


Here are my first three questions, live via satellite from Kat, who is currently in Miami on business (doesn't that sound so professional?).

what's up with some cities not observing daylight savings time?

I don't know. I've wondered that for a while. I'm all for that. I know Arizona is like that and I think that's pretty sweet. Wait, you wrote cities? Do you mean states or are there actually only cities that do that? That would take balls. Like some little podunk place in Mississippi, if they wanted to get on the news, they could just be like, "Fuck you and your rules and your clocks. In fact, we are so nuts, we are just going to keep our clocks at 3:17 all the time. That's right, the official time of Podunk, Mississippi is, and will always be, 3:17."

what's your favoritest blog (not counting your own, you conceited bastard)?

Well, Kat, I really do like yours. Are you just trying to get a cheap plug? Is that what this is about? Clever. But one of my favorites is this guy Alfie. I don't know him, but he often makes me laugh. Here is a clever line he wrote while sitting in a computer lab:

I can see, for example, that the guy on my left is taking an online calculus quiz. I can also see that he is not equipped with a calculator, pencil, or paper. He's either an idiot or a genius.

And he usually keeps it short and sweet so it's a nice read.

& finally, if crowned Miss America, what do you plan to do to make the world a better place?

I would put an end to the Miss America pageant, and all pageants in general. I think they are a cancer on our society and not healthy for the kids. And you know how I'm all about the kids. I would also say, right after I was crowned, "Wow, I totally didn't expect this, being that I have, you know, testicles." Then I'd lift up my dress and everyone would be horrified. Not by the fact that I have testicles, but how black they are.

So thank you Kat for your intriguing questions. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you and email me, dammit.
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