Today my eyelids weigh about 155 pounds of the 160 that comprise my being. I slept nearly 8 hours last night, so I shouldn't be this tired. I hate complaining about being tired, but I am at the point of fatigue where all I can think of is how tired I am.

Maybe I'm having a stroke. There is a banner ad that I just read through that struck me as hilarious. It goes like this...


i like meeting people, all people.

i like getting inside their heads.

i like making them dizzy.

i like knocking them to the ground,

and if they ignore me, killing them.

i am a stroke.


Then it tells you to go and visit the American Stroke Association web site. I don't know why I found that funny. My grandmother died from a stroke 14 years ago. That was very shocking and devastating to my family. Not very funny. She was 85-years-old and still worked part time at Sears. We all expected my grandfather to be the first one to go. He is still alive and kicking. Ninety five, I believe. My great-grandmother on my father's side lived to 104. I always imagine myself dying at the age of 27, but that didn't happen, so I guess I'm in it for the long haul, and if I take after any of these people, I'll be here for a while. I wonder if I'll still be blogging when I'm 90.

Here's a blog from the 90-year-old me:

Tuesday, February 03, in the year 2066

Ugh, it's so cold in here. Where's that draft coming from? My knees hurt. Speaking of drafts, did I ever tell you about the time I dodged the draft in 2008? We had just invaded Iceland, because America was out of ice. George W. Bush was still president and got really crazy in his final year in office. The reason we were out of ice was because we were out of oil, thanks to SUVs, so there was no way to produce energy, which would have frozen the water, which would have given us ice. All that oil we thought we had in Iraq turned out to be fudge. It was a joke that Saddam played. When we figured it out, he just shrugged his shoulders and went, "Gotcha!" We all had a good laugh about it, but the energy crisis soon became apparent and the laughter stopped. Except on the ABC network, which was more successful than ever with their Friday night lineup of According to Jim, My Wife and Kids, and a brand new show called Celebrity Nipples.

Anyway, since our troops were all over the Middle East and now we were going to Iceland, the draft was necessary. I was among many who didn't believe that going to Iceland for ice would solve our problems. Plus, we didn't even have proof that they had any ice! Everyone tried to tell the president that Greenland actually had more ice, but he responded by saying he had nothing against the Irish. There was no stopping him. He also gave orders to invade Alaska, not realizing it was already part of America. The military was stretched quite thin.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the draft. Some friends and I decided to burn our draft cards and drive to Mars, being that the U.S. - Mars highway had just finished completion.

Oh wait! Gotta go! My grandkids are here! Plus, this was starting to get kind of stupid!