In my never ending quest to become the dumbest man on the planet, last night I watched the repeat of the finale of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé. Now you might say, "Mike, a lot of people watched that. It's not that bad. It was actually pretty interesting." I would then reply to you, after I've had a hearty laugh at your childlike innocence and I would say, "For you see, my child, this is the second time I watched it."

Yes, I had already seen it, but for some reason, I watched it again. Now, I probably would not have, but my roommate was watching it, and I just got sucked in again. It is amazing how stupid the girl in the show is. She didn't really seem all that upset until it was revealed the joke was on her. When her family stormed off, she did nothing to go and stop her mother, did nothing to go and explain it to her brothers, did nothing to go and hug her crying sister. She stood there, looking for a producer or someone to tell her it was OK and that she'd still get the money so that her family could see that she humiliated them all, out of love.

My favorite part was when one of her brothers reluctantly went back out for the end of the ceremony and he said, "This is so ridiculous. This is so dumb." Indeed.

I also liked when the bride gal started crying to her family, "I did this for you so you could travel. I did this for you so you could move out..." In a way, it was kind of like the end of Schindler's List.

I think the next show Fox produces should be somewhat smutty, but also educational, called "My Big Fat Obnoxious Venereal Disease." One person on the show will have some sort of VD, not sure which, but once all the people start having relations with each other, we can learn how fast diseases travel. So we'll get to see a bunch of hot people doing it, but learn an important lesson about sex.

Last night I had a dream that I quit my job. I woke up from this dream totally confused, thinking that I didn't have to go to work anymore. It was realistic. The best part about it was when I quit, I was flipping out, like making a Jerry Maguire-type scene. Except, instead of saying the normal, "I quit!" I yelled, "I'm giving you my two weeks notice!!!"

So when I woke up I was all nervous that I was going into work to face everyone I made a fool of myself in front of.

But no. I woke up today and got to work, same as every other day. I also remember after I quit in my dream, I totally regretted it, because I had absolutely no plan and I imagined myself sleeping until 3 PM every day, then passing out drunk at 3 AM. I'm saving that plan for when I win the lotto. Now I just need to devise a plan in which I actually buy lotto tickets. Then it's, Hello, Easy Street!