Earlier I was kind of stressed out here at work, then I went to lunch and I walked into a deli. Over the speakers, playing quite loud, I heard, "I want some hot stuff, baby, this evening. I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight."

That made me laugh. What also makes me laugh is the people with ashes on their heads. Ash Wednesday is great. I would like to start wearing ashes more often, just to fuck with my fellow Catholics. "Wait, what? Ash Wednesday is today?" Then I'd just reply, "Well, hopefully God will forgive you. Who knows? There are no guarantees with the Lord."

I wish today was Accidentally Crap Yourself Wednesday. Then I wouldn't be so self-conscious of all of the disgusted looks I've been getting.