Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, January 30, 2004

On my lunch break, I learned the following things about a fellow named Bob.

-- He doesn't mind walking a few extra blocks to get to the Hello Deli.
-- His favorite sandwich there is the "Schaffer", though he gets it without hot peppers and adds bacon.
-- He doesn't "give a shit" about the Super Bowl, but does hope that the Patriots lose.
-- He didn't get favorable numbers in his Super Bowl office pool.
-- The only TV show he is looking forward to is the new Survivor, especially because Amber will be on it. He thinks she is "fucking hot."
-- The only TV show he watches is That 70's Show, but is upset because it has been preempted by American Idol.
-- He has never watched 24, even though everyone tells him that he should.
-- He is going skiing this weekend and thinks the conditions will be excellent.

How did I learn so much about Bob in the 8 minutes it took for my sandwich to be made? Well, he was talking to another fellow that, I think, he used to work with.

Let's analyze Bob.

He seems to be active. He walks a few extra blocks just to get a sandwich and is going skiing this weekend. The sandwich, however, is not a healthy sandwich, so there is no indication of him being a healthy eater. He is a man of contradiction, claiming that he doesn't care about the Super Bowl, but he is hoping that the Patriots lose, which most people would consider "giving a shit." He also has some money riding on it with his office pool, so he will actually have two shits to give. He also doesn't mind cursing loudly in front of kids at a deli. And finally, Bob fucking loves to talk about himself to anyone who will listen.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006