My teeth have never been so cold!

Good lord, it's cold. Oh my God. It's so cold! It is freezing outside! Soooo cold. Have you been outside? It's freeeezing!

I just wanted to give everyone a heads up on what it will sound like at work today. It is cold. For some reason, I hate when people talk about the heat, but the cold I don't mind. It seems more acceptable. I'm sure if you are reading this and you live in Alaska or Canada, you are laughing at us and our weak tolerance of the cold.

Anyway, this morning, I wake up to take a nice hot shower. I turn on my shower and let the water run. And I let it run. And it runs. And it's cold. It's not even lukewarm. It's just cold. No hot water. I think my landlord is trying to get rid of us, so he turns off the hot water every once in a while. I've got to admit, his tactic is starting to work. We're not on a lease, so we don't have anything to stand behind.

I just wet my noggin so I can style my luxurious hair. I was cold. I got dressed and walked out the door. It has been cold here recently, but today was the first day I've really felt it. Holy Lord. It hurt. My innards just seized. My hair actually froze because it was still wet.

Then I'm on the train, and I get to Union Square, where I have to transfer to another train. On my way to that next train, I walked by a steaming pile of shit. Human shit. I damn near vomited. Just writing about it is making me want to dry heave. Ugh. Things could have been a lot worse if I threw up next to that shit. That would have been a disgusting site for everyone walking by. Damn homeless people. I'm just assuming it was a homeless guy, but who knows? Maybe it was a stock broker who just couldn't wait. That's actually a more enjoyable visual. Not that anyone pooping on the subway is an enjoyable visual, but at least it's funnier if it's someone on his way to work for TD Waterhouse.

They should include that in traffic and transit reports. "... so you should definitely avoid the Holland Tunnel and head up to the Lincoln. All trains are running on or close to schedule. Oh, and just a heads up, if you are going to be on the subways this morning, there is a huge pile of crap on the N/R side of the platform at Union Square, so if you are headed up that way, be careful. This report brought to you by Immodium. Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back? More traffic and transit in ten minutes, keep it right here on 1010 WINS."