|Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before|
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
-- I will throw my baby out as the ceremonial first pitch at Game One of this year's World Series. The pitch will be in the dirt.
-- I will create a reality TV show where beautiful women will be tricked in to dating my baby, thinking he is a millionaire baby. The show will be called "Joe Baby."
-- I will send my baby on a research mission to Mars, armed with nothing more than a disposable camera.
-- I will hold a press conference on national television and eat my baby. Everyone will be horrified, until 24 hours later when I hold another press conference, where I crap my baby out, all in one piece.
-- I will take my baby to a rave every Saturday night, get it all messed up on ecstasy, then show a live webcast of my baby giggling and holding a glow stick for hours on end at www.MyBabyGigglingWhileHighOnEcstasy.com
-- I will bowl a 300 game with my baby. I know what you're thinking -- that I will use my baby in place of a bowling ball. Not true. He will be used as the 7 pin on every frame.
If anyone would like to give me their baby, please email me, or if you'd be interested in having my child, let me know. You will be entitled to a fraction of the potential profits.