Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, January 23, 2004


I went to see a couple of movies last night. Kill Bill and The Triplets of Belleville. Both fine movies. Some things about Kill Bill bothered me, but I won't get into that here, except I will say that sometimes Tarantino just tries too damn hard. That's all I'll say.

Afterwards, I went to McDonald's, because I was hungry and cold and it was right next door. This was on 42nd St., so it's one of those gigantic tourist trap McDonald's. The first thing that annoyed me was when I ordered my Number 6 Value Meal, the register lady asked me if I wanted that Large or Super-Size. It wasn't asked in a way like, "Would you like to upgrade that to Large or Super-Size?" It was asked like, "You've only got two choices here pal, Large or Super-Size. What'll it be?" So I got the large, and when I saw the size of the drink, I saw that it was one of those ridiculously gigantic cups. One of those drinks for people who say, "I'd like to have to urinate a lot 10 minutes after my meal." I then realized I'd been bamboozled and hornswaggled into paying more so I could get more. Damn you McDonald's and your trickery.

You might say to me, "Mike, didn't you realize that Medium is what normally comes with the Value Meals?" Then I'd say, "Well, that's what I thought, you know-it-all bitch, but I thought maybe they changed things up again." I was just assuming that they had now eliminated Medium size and added a bigger one, thinking perhaps it's now Large, Super-Size and Fat Ass American-Size. It still bothers me that Medium is the new Small. The very definition of the word is that it is in between.

OK, so the real thing that bugged me was as I was sitting there, I noticed that they had these laser type images on the wall showing commercials. Some were for Disney movies, and then there was actually a McDonald's commercial. I'm already in your fucking restaurant!!! You've got me! I'm here. Your advertising worked. What more can I give to you?

Plus, it's those annoying ass "I'm lovin' it" ads. I'm hatin' it! Get it? See what I did there? I took their slogan, then turned it around to work against them. Or how about this one... I'm lovin' it... NOT! Get it? I put the word "NOT" after the slogan, basically negating the intent of the message! HA! Take that, you gigantic corporation! You got nothing on me! And your fries sucked last night!

I apologize for the outburst.
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