Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, January 26, 2004

I recently saw a preview for Scooby Doo 2. I am absolutely serious when I say this -- it made me want to throw up. There is no hyperbole in that statement. I felt sick to my stomach. How? Why? Who saw the first one? How could the actors agree to make a second one? I'm sure there was something in their contract for the first one, but my God. It's terrible.

Speaking of God, how could He let this movie happen? How??!! Are you there God? It's me, Michael. Didn't anyone bring this to your attention during a meeting or anything?

"OK, what I want to do here in the Middle East is improve relations with Syria and... oh, hold on one second. Yes? Uh-huh. They're doing what? A sequel? Seriously? No, fuck that, definitely not. Yeah, I'll take care of it. I'll kill that guy who plays Shaggy. The one from Scream. They can't do it without him."

I am also still shocked when I see the preview for Along Came Polly and I see that scene with Ben Stiller and the overflowing toilet. Come on, Ben. Remember when you were in Flirting With Disaster? There wasn't a toilet or a poop joke anywhere in that movie and it's the funniest thing you've ever been a part of. Yes, I am sure Ben Stiller will read this and he will take my advice.

If you, the reader other than Ben Stiller, have never seen Flirting With Disaster, do yourself a favor and add it to the top of your Netflix list or rent it the next time you are at the old Blockbuster. If you don't like it, feel free to send me your hate mail. Also, if you don't like it, feel free to jump off a bridge.

Did anyone see the opening of the Golden Globes last night where took footage from the red carpet and they slaughtered "Hey ya!"? I don't know how much they gave Outkast for that one, but I am convinced no amount of money would have been worth it. I don't have much else to say on that. A typical conversation, if you did happen to see that would be this:

Me: Did you watch the Golden Globes last night?

You: Yeah.

Me: Did you see the beginning when they did that Hey Ya thing?

You: Oh my God, yeah.

Me: What the fuck was that?

You: Seriously.

Me: I know.

You: Damn.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006