This Christmas day was perhaps the longest day of my life. Not that it was bad, but it was just damn long. I had to work (I'm a priest), so that meant getting up early. Of course, there was next to nothing to do all day, so I just watched some of Comedy Central's countdown of the Top 50 SNL episodes of all time. Whoever picked the one with George Clooney and another with Calista Flockhart should be fired. But I guess parodies on The Crocodile Hunter and Taxicab Confessions were funny back then.

So I left work and drove to New Jersey. I also drove home the night before on Christmas Eve and it took me three hours to get to my mom's, twice as long as it usually takes. If I never see another brake light, I'll be happy. I almost didn't end up in all that traffic, though. As I was leaving my apartment, I was making a right onto a street. There was someone else coming the other way, turning left onto the same street, who didn't seem to have any intention of allowing me my right of way, so I had to keep an eye on him. There were also some gigantic potholes, so I had to make sure I was avoiding them. There was another variable in this equation that I didn't see until the very last minute and that was a man crossing the street. I damn near ran him over. That would have sucked. The last thing I want to is accidentally kill someone during the holiday season. If I kill anyone, it had better be intentional.

Anyway, yesterday I drove to my cousin's for a little Christmas gathering. Uncle Hank was there. While he kept any racist comments to himself, he seems to have developed a hatred for Bruce Springsteen. Maybe he thinks he's Jewish. Anyway, my uncle was willing to bet someone that, "In five years, no one will remember who he is." Place your bets.

I then went to my friend Rich's where we watched a little bit of his wedding video. That's always a little embarrassing. Luckily, I didn't do anything too idiotic on the part that I saw.

I moved on to the bar to meet up with some other friends, where I found out that my friend Kevin got engaged. So that's exciting. You should make sure though, that when you talk to someone who just got engaged on Christmas Eve, you should tell them how your Christmas was first, because it will probably pale in comparison.

Me: How was your Christmas?

Kevin: Great. By the way, I got engaged last night.

Me: Holy crap, congratulations!

(Then there is talk of how the engagement went, looking at the ring, etc.)

Kevin: Yeah, so how was your Christmas?

Me: Oh, um. Well... I got a calendar.

Kevin: Nice.


At the bar was where I ended my evening. I was close to falling asleep at the table. Long long day, but lots of fun. Totally made up for my crappy Thanksgiving.

Oh yeah, I did drive by my old house on Christmas night, and that was totally fucking weird. There were people in my house, and I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to spy on them and just see what it was like. I spent every Christmas morning (with the exception of one when I was in Florida) in that living room exchanging gifts with my family.

I need to start bringing a "Note to Self" tape recorder with me wherever I go. I know I thought of more interesting things to talk about here, But I can't recall. Perhaps I just need some sleep.