There is a good chance that there will never be a Three's Company reunion show, but if there was one, and it took place on Thanksgiving, I've got a good line of dialogue that would be perfect for a classic Three's Company misunderstanding. I imagine that Mr. Furley would overhear Jack saying this to Chrissy in the kitchen:

No, you gotta pull it out. Stick your hand in there and pull. Where the neck would be. Not the ass.

That was a line uttered by my mother while talking on the phone to my sister, advising her on how to prepare a turkey. I'm not exactly sure what Mr. Furley might misunderstand this as. It'd probably be something pretty sick. But it made me laugh.

Speaking of my sister, my world tour continues at the end of this week. I will be visiting her in Branson, Missouri. Yes, you read that right. BRANSON, here I come!

According to Homer Simpson, "it’s like Vegas - if it were run by Ned Flanders."

According to me, it's some place in the middle of nowhere that my sister happens to live in.

According to the official site, "Branson is a unique combination of neon and nature where the stars in the theaters are as luminescent as the stars in the expansive night sky."

Neon and nature. Finally, someone decided to put the two together.

"Your neon Miller Lite sign is in my mountain."

"Your mountain is in my neon Miller Lite sign."

So here is your chance to put a bona fide Branson, Missouri postcard on your fridge. Email me your address and I promise you will get a postcard. Maybe you'll get one with Yakov Smirnoff on it.