Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Sunday, December 28, 2003

I'm feeling some sort of pressure to have an "End of the Year" list. You know, my favorite movies of the year, favorite albums, etc. I don't think I should, for a few reasons.

First of all, I haven't seen a whole lot of movies that I want to see. I've also neglected to see any truly independent films, which I usually wait for on video. With the exception of City of God, I haven't been to any, and I'm not so sure that was even independent. But it was good. It was foreign, so I guess I'm just assuming it's independent. They couldn't even afford people who speak English.

Speaking of things on video, ever since I've joined Netflix, I've been able to catch up on all of those classics I should have seen. Now, no one can say, "You've never seen The Shining?" or "You've never seen Psycho?" and I can finally put an end to the incessant, "You've never seen Super Troopers?"

Last night I watched The Manchurian Candidate, which I think I might be able to say is my favorite movie of 2003. Or maybe my favorite was Matewan. John Sayles has become my favorite director. And my favorite album of the year is still OK Computer. It's going to take something great to knock it off the top of my list in 2004.

My favorite story of this year was Madonna kissing Christina Aguilera, because nobody gave a shit. She got Madonna's sloppy seconds. I bet one of Britney's demands for that show was Madonna had to kiss her first, because she didn't want whatever is in Christina's mouth to then be transferred to her.

Another reason I don't want to make a list is because I don't think anyone who reads this on a regular basis gives a shit about what I like when it comes to the world of entertainment. So I shouldn't really try to make a list.

Maybe I should just recap my own year for you, but that would prove to be boring. You can do that yourself by going back and reading this from the beginning, and be left to wonder, "What was Mike doing for those missing months of January and February?" My answer to you is "Not that much."

Well, I did try to steal a parking tram when I was in Epcot Center in February. We drank around the world (a beer in every "country") so when I got out I was pretty drunk. Stealing a tram was the smartest thing I could think of. And it was a great idea, but the execution of the idea was not very successful. I jumped into the tram, which was running, and pressed on the gas. Nothing happened. I then saw a green button and thought, Ah-ha! A green button! Well, if I've learned anything in my life, I know that green means go, so I will now press this green button and will be victorious in the theft of this tram.

So I pressed the green button and the entire thing shut down. That's not what green is supposed to do! Everything I know is wrong! So I tried to get out and the door seemed to be locked, or at least jammed. I'm stuck. I started to sober up a bit and realize that I could probably be thrown in Disney Jail for this. I look to my left and see a couple of Disney employees finally notice that something ain't right in parking tram #3. They start to walk over. I look to my right and I see about 8 of my equally drunk friends laughing their smiles off. They were enjoying this much more than I was at the moment. Finally, I give the door one good kick and it comes flying open and I haul ass to the car, free as a bird.

Until next time, Disney World.

I don't remember much about January. I remember thinking, "I am going to save my vacation days and sick days until the end of the year so I can take off a lot of days in December." I called in sick on January 2. And here it is December and I am working every day.

All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006