Not to turn this into an all-sports-all-the-time blog, but the Yankees-Red Sox fiasco is perhaps one of the most entertaining thing to happen in sports in quite some time. I hesitate to use the word "sports" being that mostly everything surrounding this has very little to do with sports, and more to do with men who act like children (no, wait - that's an insult to children. Sorry kids). These guys were acting more like professional athletes. It's a shame that when someone actually is a classy athlete these days, they receive so much praise, basically for being a good person. Anyway, on to discussing the New York CanDoNoWrongs Vs. the Boston Retards.

Right after I saw Don Zimmer rolling on the ground after being tossed by Pedro Martinez, I said to my friend Dennis, "I can no longer root for the Red Sox. Now I have to root for the Yankees." But then I saw that it was Zimmer who charged Pedro and retracted that statement. OK, Pedro was defending himself. Sure, you can say he was a little overzealous in his defense, but if I saw that little white and blue cannonball chugging towards me like that, I probably would have done the same thing.

And if Pedro didn't do anything, instead of saying, "How can you do that to a 72 year old man!!?!?!", Yankee fans would be saying, "Pedro is a pussy! He didn't stand up to a 72 year old man!!!" And there would be some people crying ageism. I'm sorry, but Don Zimmer has as much of a right to be thrown to the ground just like anyone else who charges at someone on a baseball field.

And is Pedro Martinez a coward for throwing at Karim Garcia? Sure. Just like Roger Clemens has done time and time again. But when he does it, the common Yankee response is "Hey, that's just baseball and Roger being Roger." The only big difference is that Clemens usually does it to guys who hit well off of him. Pedro just does it to anyone he feels like.

And who the fuck is Karim Garcia? Take your base, asshole.

Plus, how on earth did the rest of the Yankees not go after Pedro once they realized it was Zimmer, not David Wells, who was thrown to the ground? If anyone messed with my grandpa, I'd go after them. Although, it's unlikely my grandfather would be messed with, considering he is 90-something. He is, however, smarter than Don Zimmer. You think Joe Torre has started calling nursing homes to put Zimmer in? He is obviously kind of losing it if he thinks he can successfully fight a 32 year old athlete.

I loved Manny Ramirez talking smack to Clemens after that pitch was pretty high and inside by about an inch. He was so tough in pointing his bat. Once again, Manny proves he is an idiot.

Ted Williams must be rolling over in his frozen cryogenic chamber.

It takes a pretty special bunch of players to almost make me want to root for the Yankees. Almost. Not quite. But if anyone on the Red Sox beats up an old lady or a baby or a puppy or Siegfried or my mom at any one of the upcoming games, I will be forced to root for the Yankees.

Anyway, all of these guys are a bunch of whiny bitches. Neither team deserves to be in the World Series. I should win the World Series. I'm sick of people chanting 1975 at me. That was the last time I won the World Series. I beat the Cincinnati Reds in 6 games.