Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Who would have thought the Amish were such pranksters?

MOUNT HOPE, Ohio - It's an annual prank in this tranquil Amish community, where men wear straw hats and women bonnets and plain dresses: Youngsters hide in cornfields and hurl tomatoes at passing cars.

This year, the mischief turned deadly.

A motorist who had been pelted several times on Labor Day got out of his car and fired three to five rounds into the 7-foot-high corn, killing 23-year-old Steven L. Keim.

OK, so the Amish have their wacky traditions, that's fine. But they also say they shun many modern amenities, including cars. Later in that article, they mention that not only do they throw tomatoes, but they also shoot paintball guns. Wha? Paintball? The Amish? Isn't paintball like, maybe 20 years old? In the Amish world, that's like something that's been invented yesterday. The Amish are a bunch of fucking hypocrites. And I can say this about them, because I know they aren't going to read this. Stupid non-electric motherfuckers. I guess if the internet was operated by a paintball gun or a tomato, it'd be cool for them to use.

Something like this was bound to happen. What a bunch of no good rabble rousers. I guess since they don't have TV, they don't realize that the world is full of people who will shoot your ass if you throw a tomato at them. And who the fuck are the Amish to be throwing shit at cars?? They don't know what a bitch it is to keep and maintain a car. What if I threw a tomato at a horse? Then they'd understand. This guy who shot the dude probably thought they were throwing eggs, and eggs aren't easy to clean. Plus, in the Normal Electricity Using States of America, we throw eggs at cars, you Amish dicks. Tomatoes? Come on. It's time to catch up to the rest of the world, there, Amish McAssholes. Welcome to your first taste of getting shot for what seems like a silly reason. It's about time.

God damn I hate the Amish.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006