I was home in NJ this weekend cleaning out my boyhood home, which has been sold. My mother saved everything. I mean it. Everything. I drew some ugly ass turkey in the second grade - still there. My Christmas lists from when I was 6? Got it. Sure, this stuff is cute and all that, but what a pain in the ass to go through. Of course all the stuff that would have been worth something - the Millennium Falcon and all my other Star Wars toys - or the things I really wanted to see - all my He-man toys, including the Castle of Grayskull - are gone. All gone. Some kid who bought it from us at a garage sale for three bucks is probably selling that shit on ebay for 100 bucks.

Here is my advice to you parents. Throw stuff away. Don't be afraid. If your kid draws a pumpkin at school for Halloween, throw that shit away on November 3rd. Of course there are some things that you should hang onto, but for the most part, toss it. Except for the Star Wars shit that would have been worth something.

Not much has changed with me since I was a kid. I'm a bit hairier and quite a bit taller, but other than that, I still have most of the same opinions. I found all of these old school assignments in which all I talked about was how much I hated school and loved television. I had to write a paragraph on my favorite month, which I chose as June because it meant that school was over. I called September "Doom Month" because, even though that's when my birthday was, it meant we had to go back to school. I was also asked to draw a picture about what Easter meant to me. My picture was of me laying in bed sick. Apparently my dream Easter was eating so much candy that I'd get sick and be allowed to stay home from school.

Anyway, happy Doom Month!