Don't you love it when you forget you have a dentist appointment, so you eat a bagel with a bunch of seeds on it, then later some cheese doodles with a Coke? Yeah, my dentist will be impressed.

Dentist: So, Mike, you don't floss much do you?

Me: Um, no, not really. I know I should but -

Dentist: You don't really brush your teeth on a regular basis either, huh?

Me: Oh, well I definitely do that, it's just that today I -

Dentist: Shut the fuck up you liar. Your teeth are disgusting. Get out of my office.

Me: But you still have the drill in my mouth.

Dentist: I said GET OUT.

Ugh, I can't wait to go. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go suck on some sugar cane.