I have Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" stuck in my head. I'm not sure how this happened, but it's driving me batty.

When my family first got an answering machine way back when, my dad recorded a message on there unbeknownst to the rest of us. It was your normal, "Hi, you've reached the Tooles, please leave a message." Except he had "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" playing in the background. The first message we received was from my cousin Mary who couldn't stop laughing while she left her message.

On the list of Gay Things My Dad Has Done, that one is very close to the top. What's at the top, you wonder? Let's just say bicycle shorts, an avocado, a mime, former Mayor Ed Koch, a donkey, a paper plate, New York Giants running back Tiki Barber, a mousetrap, Erasmus -- the patron saint of abdominal pains, and let's just leave it at that.