The following is not a lie. Although it seems far fetched, this next posting is 100% true.

I believe that I am somewhat psychic. Let me explain. Please. Let me. Explain. Me. Let.

About a week or so before September 11th, I told a co-worker, "I feel like something big is going to happen." He asked what I meant. I told him that we were due for something on a Princess Diana level. Something that everyone talks about, and Aaliyah wasn't really cutting it as one of those things. Something else was about to happen. Now, of course I had no idea it was going to be that big, but I just had a feeling. On September 11th I was in New Orleans, so I was hoping my co-worker didn't remember what I told him, for fear that he might be like, "Mike said some cryptic shit to me, then took off for New Orleans. How convenient. (Dials phone.) Hello? FBI?"

Anyway, last Wednesday I was taking a shower (pretty hot, right?) and I thought to myself, You know what? I'm getting that feeling again, and it's not just because I'm washing my nether regions. Some big event is about to happen. One of those things that everyone talks about.

This time, I told myself to write it down. I figured I'd blog about it, with the disclaimer that I was only posting it just in case and as a historical reference. And if something big did happen, I could say, "A-HA! I'm psychic!"

So the lights go out. And I've got no proof this time. I didn't tell a soul and totally forgot to write it down. The other day when I couldn't think of anything to write about, I was thinking, I know I had something to write, but what was it? Ahh, fuck it, I'll write about the Ice Cream Social. Fuck. I'm pissed now. People would have been forwarding my site all over the place and be like, Look, this fucking guy knew something was going to happen. He's a regular old Sixth Sense Haley Joel Osment.

One other psychic event I'll reference is a dream I had the night before Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals where my beloved New York Rangers were about to erase their 54 years of not winning the Cup. In my dream, the Rangers won the game 3-2 and Mark Messier scored the winning goal. What happened in reality? The Rangers won 3-2 and Messier was credited with the winning goal (Brian Noonan actually scored, but the gods - in order to make my dream more accurate - convinced the officials to give the credit to Messier). Now, of course some things in the dream were different than reality. In my dream, for example, I scored the 2nd goal of the game. As far as I know, that didn't happen. It was Alexei Kovalev.

I'll be sure to give you all a heads up next time some shit's about to go down.