Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, July 14, 2003

Up until about four months ago, my neighbor on one side of my apartment had been a vacant lot. They are now putting up a new building there and the only thing I can really say about these construction workers is that they sure do wake up early. Luckily, Monday through Thursday, I am up and out of the house before they get there, but on my days off, Friday and Saturday, they are there at 07:30 and not a minute later. I'm pretty sure this is the schedule that is posted on their bulletin board:

07:30 -- Arrive on time and talk insanely loud. When possible, yell at each other.
07:45 -- Open up shed. Do NOT open door slowly. Swing open as fast as possible, ensuring the door will bang into the side of the shed, causing a metallic echo throughout the neighborhood.
08:00 -- Begin emptying shed. Drop lots of shit. Make sure it's heavy and loud when you drop it.
08:15 -- Turn on all power tools. Even if you don't need to use them, use them. If you see a drill laying around doing nothing, just turn it on and drill into the air.
08:20 -- Remember all that heavy shit you dropped about twenty minutes ago? Pick up a hammer and bang on it.
08:30 -- By now, the guy in the apartment next door should be awake. If you see him walking out of his room, through the kitchen and into the bathroom, you have done your job. Be as quiet as possible for the rest of the day. This should really piss him off.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006