Lisa's sister wrote about people being strangely obsessed with Marilyn Monroe, which reminded me of seeing this Cher concert that was recently on NBC. Yes, that is correct. I found myself watching a Cher concert on NBC.

I was just wondering, who on God's green earth actually is into Cher? (Well, Sonny used to be into her, if you know what I mean, heh heh heh. But then he got divorced from her, if you know what I mean. Then he hit a tree while skiing and died, if you know what I mean.) I'm curious because I've never known anybody to really like her, and I've known lots of moms and gay guys. But there were tons of people at this show singing every word of every song and just going batty when she'd sing, say something, flash a nipple or two... pretty much anything.

Cher: You know what I love? Oxygen and puppies.
Audience: WAAAAAAAHHH WOOOOO! So do we! We love you Cher! We fucking love you! We would all gladly die for you! If this theater was taken hostage by Chechen rebels right now, we would not care, even if our government then gassed us and killed us in an attempt to rescue us!

What surprised me most about this concert was the audience, while made up mostly of extremely gay men (not surprising), also had a lot of young women in their 20s and 30s (surprising). Who likes Cher? Who? Answer me! If you are not gay and you actually like Cher and would buy a Cher album, please email me. This is bothering me. She freaks me out.

It's got to be so cool to be a rock star or some sort of musical performer for a live audience. No matter what you say up there, people will think it is hilarious. This is annoying because most of the time it is never funny. I saw a Wilco show recently where Sonic Youth opened up for them in Central Park and Jeff Tweedy said at one point, "This is cool. It's like a barbecue. You know, a uh, barbecue that's like, uh, with Sonic Youth." People laughed like crazy. But there was this sort of ending to the laughter where I think everyone realized, "Hey, that's not very funny or clever."

I'm also not a big fan of when performers curse just to get applause. I once saw U2 where Bono said, "You are the loudest bunch of motherfuckers I've ever heard." Of course every motherfucker in the place went nuts. They were like, "Woo! That's right! We are motherfuckers and we are loud! The loudest, according to Bono!" Yes, we all said that. Everyone in the audience replied in unison. If someone else said that at their job, it's likely they'd be fired. If a substitute teacher said to a class of first graders, "You are the loudest bunch of motherfuckers I've ever heard," there's a good chance that would be the last day for that teacher. What pissed me off about the U2 comment is that I saw a video of another show where they were in like, Cleveland, and he said the same exact thing to the Cleveland audience. I know there is no way that some motherfuckers in motherfucking Ohio are motherfucking louder than some motherfuckers in motherfucking New York.

Bono is a motherfucking liar.