I'm sorry, you have WHAT coming out of your penis?

That article is a must-read.

I'm glad that kid was smart enough to speak up. I'd probably be in my 8th grade health class asking, "So Mr. Gym Teacher, I've got the hair down there and all that other stuff you spoke about, but I was just curious, when do the flies normally start flying out of the penis? I don't know if we just haven't gotten to that chapter yet or not, so I was thinking that maybe I was an early bloomer, you know, as far as the flies coming out of the penis goes."

I love how his parents at first didn't believe him. It's the old, "Boy who cried flies coming out of his penis" tale. "Sure son. First it was 'I don't feel so good', then it was a stomach ache, now it's the flies coming out of the penis. You've got to wake up pretty early in the morning if you want to get one over on us there, buddy boy. Now go get your books and get ready for school."

I just can't get over this. He has FLIES coming out of his PENIS.

Eventually this guy will probably have a girlfriend and she's going to ask him about his past history and whatnot. He won't want to tell her at first but she'll be all girly like and say, "Come on, you can tell me. I don't care. What's important is what we have together now." He'll say, "Well, there was this one time I had flies coming out of my penis." She'll change her tune pretty quickly. "OoooK. Um. Remember when I said all that crap about how now is important? Yeah, what's really important now is that once you had flies coming out of your penis. I'm going to leave now. Please don't call me. Ever."

I just keep saying "flies coming out of his penis" because it is so much fun.

Flies coming out of his penis. His penis has flies coming out of it. When he pees, flies come out. It's like a urine waterslide. A urineslide. His urinary tract is like Wet 'N Wild. For flies. His name should now be FlyPenis. In school when he raises his hand, teachers should say, "Yes FlyPenis, do you know the answer? Very good, FlyPenis."

FlyPenis.

I bet his favorite song is "Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra.