Here's a quick story about Bob Hope. Sort of.

I was once watching MTV late at night when they had this show in Afghanistan where they were doing a USO special entertaining the troops. Kid Rock was there, along with J.Lo, Ja Rule, and Carson Daly as the host. So just as everyone was getting used to Carson Daly as the next Dick Clark, he was now trying to claim the throne as the next Bob Hope, bringing the troops some of that Carson charm. His first joke was something like, "So I guess I'm kind of like Bob Hope now. Except I don't think Bob Hope ever had J.Lo on his speed dial." Oh, Carson, stop it you hilarious bitch! The first thing I thought when I heard him say that was, Bob Hope must be rolling over in his bed. Now he can roll over in his grave. On behalf of the crappy generation after me, I apologize to you Bob. I never found you to be that funny (generation gap and all), but you were way cooler than Carson Daly could ever imagine.

I sure hope Heaven has Internet access.

This whole show they did was really funny. Unintentionally funny, but still funny. They showed a quick clip of J.Lo saying, "This is so great. I just can't believe how great these guys are and I'm so flattered that they are so excited to see me." Don't flatter yourself there too much, J.Lo. They are in the middle of Afghanistan where they haven't seen a woman so much as show a chin, then you come in there with your halter top. These soldiers just want to stick their Yankee Doodles in your Dandy.

Then Kid Rock got up there and before he ripped into song, he screeched, "I just got one thing to say to Osama bin Laden... Are you scared now, motherfucker?!"

Scared by what? A rousing rendition of "Bawitdaba"? And do you think Osama gets cable in his cave? And would he be watching MTV? He doesn't really strike me as a TRL fan. "Hey, What's up? My name is Osama from Afghanistan and I just wanted to request Beyonce "Crazy in Love" with Jay-Z because I think she is so hot! WOOO, praise be Allah!"