"Israeli archaeological experts said Wednesday an inscription on an ancient stone box suggesting it once contained the bones of Jesus' brother, James, was a forgery."

That's from a Yahoo news story. I didn't even know Jesus had a brother. James Christ? That's like being Hank Hitler. Or Doug Mussolini. Or Jeb Bush. That's got to be so disappointing.

"Hey James! You think you can turn this water here into wine?"

"Dude, that's my brother's gig."

"Oh right. Say, do you know where he is?"

"Nope, haven't seen him."

"Hmmm, can you do anything cool like that, alcohol-wise?"

"Uhm. Not really. I can juggle a little bit. Do you have any tennis balls or apples?"

"No, I don't. OK. Well, it was good seeing you James. If you see Jesus, let him know I was looking for him."

"Sure, bro. No problem."