Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Friday, June 06, 2003

I'm really disturbed by the Labatt's Blue ads with the talking bear that likes to have sex with women. Of course they never show him having sex, but it's implied. There's the one where he's playing baseball with a couple of dudes and he breaks someone's window, so the bear goes over to the house to apologize and of course brings a cooler full of Labatt's. When he gets there, Hot Chick opens the door and is obviously attracted to the bear. Who wouldn't be? It's a talking bear with beer. As luck would have it, Hot Chick lives with Hot Roommate. So not only is this bear getting laid, he's having a threesome!

I think we all knew that Spuds Mackenzie was getting some human ass, but it was left to the imagination. This bear is all about drinking and having sex.

Someone had to go into a meeting and say, "My idea for our spokesperson is an alcoholic Black Bear that bangs chicks. White chicks. A Big Black Bear that Bangs White Broads!"

At least the Miller Lite girls wrestling in the pool ads are blatant. You know what the goal is. With the bear, I'm just like, "Wait, what? Did that bear just go in there to start doing it with those girls? Are girls attracted to bears? I missed that survey in Cosmo about chicks digging bears." My initial reaction to the Miller Lite ad was, "I am morally outraged by this incredibly awesome commercial!"

For me Labatt's Blue will now just be the beer that bears drink when they want to have sex with ladies. I'm going to stick with Guiness.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006