Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Sunday, May 04, 2003


If you don't live in the NYC area, you are missing out on the greatest thing any local news station has to offer. That is the Fox 5 Problem Solvers. And when I say "greatest", I mean "worst". Every news station has something like this, where they usually try to fight for someone who has been wronged. Usually, it's Joe Average Consumer trying to get what's rightfully his. And most of the time, the "problem solvers" are the most irritating, badgering, relentless and annoying people. The Fox 5 Problem Solvers all wear black leather jackets and they talk really loud and walk really fast and are often carrying a tape or documents that will help in the solving of a problem.

Last week, during "24", they kept previewing what the Problem Solvers had in store for us tonight. Somthing "you've gotta see to believe." It was more video of the 9/11 hijackers who went to a strip club a couple of days before the attack. They showed ten minutes of security camera footage of the terrorists getting lap dances. They also sped it up to a ridiculous rate of speed, so it looked like these were the best strippers ever. Here was a conversation I did not have with a friend the following day.

Me: Did you see the Problem Solvers last night?
Friend: No. What problem did they solve?
Me: I'm not sure they solved any problems, but they showed the terrorists getting lap dances. From strippers!
Friend: Wait, the 9/11 terrorists?
Me: Yes, those terrorists.
Friend: Holy shit! They were in a strip club?
Me: Yes.
Friend: Wait wait wait. The guys who killed 3,000 people were in a strip club.
Me: Yes, can you believe that?
Friend: No.
Me: My view of them has totally changed.

I'm not sure what they were trying to accomplish in this report. It was ten minutes of these tapes, interviews with the owner of the strip club, and video of the Towers collapsing. It was honestly the most disgusting display of "journalism" I've ever seen on television. It was just an excuse to show strippers and take the 9/11 footage out of the archives. It was basically sex and violence, which is what most local news has become. There was no point to the story. They tried to play up the, "These guys say they are religious, but would religious men be doing this??"

No matter what else is discovered about the hijackers, I'm pretty sure nothing will top the time they hijacked planes and crashed them into buildings.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006