Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, April 14, 2003

New York had it's first smoking bar ban related stabbing this past weekend where a bouncer was killed. That took longer than I thought it would.

It is incredibly sad, and by all accounts the bouncer was a really nice guy, but they were interviewing a neighbor of his on the news today and this lady said, "He really is the nicest guy I knew, next to Jesus." I shit you not. That's what she said. I have a feeling he probably cursed more than Jesus. And Jesus probably wouldn't have grabbed the guy after he refused to put his cigarette out. What Would Jesus Do? He probably would have said in his laid back hippie voice, "Come on man, I'm just doing my job. If it was up to me, I wouldn't give a damn, but my boss is being a dick about it. He thinks he's God or something. No I'm kidding. But seriously, put it out." If the guy still didn't put it out, then Jesus probably would have pulled some of his voo-doo shit and turned beer into water and thrown it on the cigarette.

Because of another brand new NYC law, I predict many dead theater ushers.

This will get ugly.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006