I had a dream last night that I was at work, but it wasn't a normal, "I was at work but it really wasn't work, it was a giant jet ski that everyone was on. And my boss didn't look like my boss, but it was this red-headed guy I knew in high school who was kind of retarded, but it was still my boss, you know what I mean? Anyway, all of the sudden, the Rockettes were there and they were threatening to go on strike, but they were there to fix the bathroom" kind of dream. The dream was pretty much like a real day of work.

Things happened in the dream that would happen at work. People came up to me and asked me annoying questions that they should know the answer to, or questions I couldn't possibly know the answer to, the office looked exactly like the office I work in, and I really wanted to go home.

The only thing that was kind of weird was this really long conversation in the middle of the dream about "Family Ties," which actually is really not weird at all, except for the fact that it was a dream and an incredibly coherent conversation. We were talking about the episodes that were shockingly serious, especially the one where Alex's friend dies and Alex (or APK as I referred to him in the dream) goes to see that shrink and he's on that black stage and there was no laugh track. Weird. And we also talked about the episodes where Tom Hanks showed up as Uncle DrinksTooMuch.

It is quite possible that I've had that conversation before at work.

The dream was also incredibly long, which leads me to believe that I actually dreamt an 8 hour shift. I might have to put this in as overtime.

So here is my dream analysis: I have found my dream job!

Now for my analysis of my dream analysis, I will go vomit.

Back to Family Ties, they don't really do that anymore in sitcoms. It was a pretty big staple of 80's sitcoms to lay on some serious shit for the viewer who just wanted to sit back and watch Tootie do some roller skating on "Facts of Life."

The kids on Diff'rent Strokes were always up to something. Kimberly and Arnold were kidnapped after hitchhiking, Arnold had a friend in a wheelchair, Dudley got molested by the guy from WKRP in Cincinatti, Willis shot a guy while he was high on crack, Kimberly robbed a video store, then later died of a drug overdose in an apparent suicide... Wait, fiction and reality starting to blur. Sorry.

My favorite was when Valerie Harper of the show "Valerie" decided not to renew her contract and she quit the show at the end of the season. One of the big questions was how they would explain her leaving on the show. Divorce? Death? Peace Corps? You can't really say, "Kids, your mom wanted more money, so she won't be back this year." On the first episode without her, the kids and the father were around the table talking about something, then the dad said, "Well boys, things won't be the same now that your mom is dead. Anyway, here's your Aunt Sandy!" Then Sandy Duncan walked in and Valerie was never mentioned again. They could have made a whole season of the boys trying to deal with the loss of their mom (which I guess wouldn't have been very funny), but the writers and producers apparently hated Valerie Harper so much they decided to ignore the fact that she ever existed. That's harsh.

I hope tonight I dream about writing this.