Doritos always seem like such a good idea when you first start eating them. I start wishing that everything was made out of Doritos. Like my house. Then I could eat my house and go outside to where there are more Doritos to fix my house with. Then I'll go eat my neighbor's car, and play all innocent when he asks me if I ate his car. Eventually I'll cave in and tell him that Doritos are so good, and his car looked so good I couldn't help myself. He'll say, That's okay Mike. I was gonna buy a new Cool Ranch car anyway. Then we'd have a good laugh. He'd invite me inside his house where we'd eat some more Doritos.

But that fantasy is always short lived, because after a few minutes of eating Doritos, I start to feel sick. so I tell myself to stop eating the Doritos. That will make me feel better. but I only proceed to feel worse, even though I have ceased eating the Doritos.