Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Sunday, March 23, 2003

I'll say this one thing before I say the other thing: I am not a big fan of this war.

Now I'll say the other thing: People at anti-war rallies tend to be giant idiots and give anti-war people a bad name.

This past Wednesday I was walking from work and saw that there was an anti-war rally going on in Union Square. I decided to mosey over and see what was up. It was nothing like the size of most rallies that have been televised lately. There were maybe 200 people there and when I showed up, a man was talking about the military being sexist, racist, homophobic and everything else that's evil in the world, and he was basically saying we should get rid of the military. That's a good idea.

Then a Short Stubby Lady With Short Grey Hair got up there. The same Short Stubby Lady With Short Grey Hair that seems to be at every anti-war rally across the country. She talks to (shouts at) reporters in front of the White House. She's in San Francisco yelling through a megaphone. Then she shows up on C-Span 2 at a Town Hall meeting in TinyTown, Connecticut. And she always starts a chant. The chant she started at Union Square was hilarious. It was as follows:

Hey hey, ho ho, we won't fight for Texaco. Hey hey, ho ho, we won't fight for Texaco.

Let me write that again:

Hey hey, ho ho, we won't fight for Texaco.

Say it out loud right now so you can hear how silly it sounds. One more time:

Hey hey, ho ho, we won't fight for Texaco.

So I started laughing because it just sounded so funny, especially because only about four people were chanting it. The chant died out pretty quickly and then the next guy got up to speak. This was a guy who did nothing but yell. He just likes yelling. He yells everything to try and get people riled up. The truth is though, this guy would be anti-anything, as long as he got to get up there and yell.

Here he is at an anti-taco rally:

"Crispy shells, ground beef and lettuce have no business in our world!"

Here he is at an anti-sneaker rally:

"This country has been casual for too long! Bring back formal wear!" <-- that's Mandy's joke.

Here he is at an anti-freedom rally:

"We have too many opinions in this country! Everyone should believe what I yell!"

So I left because nothing interesting or original was being said. Worst anti-war rally ever.

Then I saw on tellyvizion the people in San Francisco and somewhere in Oregon who were doing such great anti-war stuff like sitting on trolley tracks and blocking traffic and throwing rocks. Nothing says "I don't like this war" more than sitting on a trolley track. I'm pretty sure the President said, "Oh wait a second. You're telling me people are sitting on train tracks and stopping traffic to say that war is bad? I didn't know they felt so strongly about it. Bring our boys home!"

These people give Wavy Gravy a bad name.

In fairness, though, I'm pretty sure both Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi threw rocks.
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006