On my way home from work today, I saw a bumper sticker which read:

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be WELDING.

That guy really likes welding. But even though melting shit with fire does seem like fun, I imagine it would - like any job - get boring after a while. So when I get bored at work, I can check out awesome things on the internet like this amazing synopsis of Warren G and Nate Dogg's Regulate. I bet your welding equipment doesn't have Wikipedia.

I can also check out the Wikipedia entry for Welding.

Anyway, I was thinking of other jobs that would make good bumper stickers like that one. So here's a fun game for you to play. Match the job with the bumper sticker.

Unemployed guy
Your co-worker
Guard at Guantanamo
Abortion doctor
Cubicle builder

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be WATERBOARDING SUSPECTED TERRORISTS.

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be PERFORMING LATE TERM ABORTIONS.

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be MASTURBATING.

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be IN THE CUBICLE NEXT TO YOU.

Have fun in your cubicle. I will be MAKING CUBICLES.

Yes, this was tricky, as the MASTURBATING one could have been a match for all of them. But if you really paid attention, you could figure it out.

Anyway, I think I am going make my own bumper sticker: Have fun welding. I will be FINDING RANDOM ARTICLES ON WIKIPEDIA WHILST IN MY CUBICLE.


Last night I was at a concert, and this girl behind me answers her phone while the concert is going on. Here is what I hear:

Hello. What? I can't hear you. I can't HEAR YOU. WHAT? I'm at a concert. You're breaking up. YOUR PHONE IS BREAKING UP. I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT? I WILL CALL YOU LATER.

If I was the friend who called that girl, we would no longer be friends. But I hope that this is what was being said on the other side of that call:

Hello.

Hey. How's it- Where are you?

What?

I said where are you. It's really loud.

I can't hear you.

Well, call me ba-

I can't HEAR YOU.

I SAID CALL ME BACK.

WHAT? I'm at a concert.

Well, then why the fuck are you answering your phone?

You're breaking up.

What? You answered the phone at a CONCERT, and you're blaming my phone?

YOUR PHONE IS BREAKING UP.

Yeah, I heard you, but it's your ear that is the problem because of all the noise around you, you dolt.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU. WHAT?

I CALLED YOU A DOLT! WHY WOULD YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE AT A CONCERT, YOU IMBECILE?

I WILL CALL YOU LATER.

No, please don't do that. We really shouldn't be friends anymore.

People are so stupid.

Anyway, if you are in a cubicle and have some time to kill, this slideshow of the world's strangest airports is awesome.