Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy new year. Another party at my apartment, another person puking in the bathroom. This time, they thought the sink would be a better place to do so than the toilet. Apparently, at some point, they realized their folly of vomiting in the sink and moved it over to the toilet. Another party goer was nice enough to clean up some of it. I won't get too into the details, but rumor has it there was a piece of sausage somewhere.

Sausage party!

Speaking of meat, here is an update on my 2008 bacon consumption.

Actual text message from a Cleveland sports fan:

i hope peyton manning dies in a drunk driving accident. and i hope the guy who hits him is dustin pedroia.

Every time I see a commercial for ER, I say, "Wait. ER is still on?" I say this every time. It's in my contract. I can't believe it is still on. Not that it's a bad show. It might be bad or maybe it's good, but I haven't watched it since Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds died. I just feel like they already had a last episode.

Hey, since I have not much to blog about today, here are some random gmail chat lines, both about humping:

Jeff: If you really want that you should put it in your will because I'm going to be way too focused on getting a picture of myself humping your gravestone to take care of any requests.


William: Although skirt might lead to not so dry humping.
me: skirt? dry humping? i am confused
William: Sorry. That was for someone else.
Innappropriate all the way around.
me: you freaky bastard!
William: I was threatening to dry hump someone.
Skirts don't work well for that.
Everybody knows.
me: oh. totally
yeah, i totally suck on balls
oh, sorry. that was meant for someone else
William: I will totally strike that from my memory then.
me: i floss with my own pubes
dammit! again, sorry
All material © Mike Toole; 2003 - 2006