Blogging Like I've Never Blogged Before

Monday, January 28, 2008

I had an asthma attack the other day. I probably get two a year, if that. Anyway, I couldn't locate my inhaler, so that was a problem. I had to go to a drug store to find some Primatene Mist. It is sometimes hard to find, because kids like to buy it to get an adrenalin rush. So some places won't carry it. You know, because it's more important to make sure some dumb, idiot kids don't die, as opposed to someone suffering from an asthma attack.

Anyway, the first store I went to did not have it. But before I found that out, I scanned the shelves. Next to me was an employee doing some stocking. I asked her if she had Primatene Mist. "You know (WHEEEEEEEEEZE), for asthma attacks (WHEEEEEEEEEZE)?" So she looked around at a few things and said, "No, I don't think so. But this might help." She pointed to Gas-X. I am not sure she knew what asthma was.

Anyway, I eventually found it at another store and did not die. So that was nice.

The more I see of Barack Obama, the less I think he is black. I mean, I know he's black, but he doesn't look black. I think he's more charcoal gray. I think he will be our first charcoal gray president.

Word to the wise: Don't go see No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood within three days of each other. It might hurt your brain. I mean, see both movies, but you need to see something retarded in between. Might I suggest Meet the Spartans. Just kidding. Please don't see that. For the good of your brain. Just take a week off between films.

You know how I have blogged about the nastiness of my work bathroom in the past, well today, it appeared that someone was making some sort of chicken mushroom broth in one of the stalls. I know that a lot of people at work read this, so if you are reading this, and you are thinking -- What's so bad about not flushing my shit or putting pubes on the toilet seat? -- well, you are the reason everyone else hates using the bathroom.

Although, without the people who crap up the bathroom at work, I would have nothing to talk about with lots of people. So I guess for the good of small talk, keep doing it. And yes, that is what I use as small talk. Instead of, "How was your weekend?" I like to ask, "See all those pubes?"

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